Meet the Staff
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EvilNeil Crumpets and a spot of tea, guvna? |
EvilNeil, who got the idea for his nickname not from Capcom’s possessed alternate Ryu but actually from a Xena Warrior Princess fanfic has been a HV staffer since July 1999, when he nervously submitted his Third Strike review based entirely on an hours’ play in a well-known London arcade basement. A huge fan of the site since discovering it in 1997, as part of the KI WEB ring, his gradual rise through the ranks has had less to do with drive, guts and determination and more to do with the fact that everyone above him has quit.
His favourite fighting game is Super Street Fighter 2: Turbo, which he believes is the perfect marriage of sunny school-days nostalgia and wonderfully challenging and involving gameplay, but he also has strong unnatural passions for the old KOFs, SFA2, Tekken 5 and Marvel Super Heroes. He likes Capcom more than SNK, Namco more than Sega, Ashley more than Mary-Kate and would buy Killer Instinct 3 in a heartbeat.
He has masturbated exactly seven times to Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball.
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Obijay GIRAFFE MAN |
ObiJay’s nickname actually came from Legendary ManBeast Holden, over a small collection of VHS tapes of the animated nature.
“Help me Obijay Pornobi, you are my only hope :(”
ObiJay became a HerV staff member after briefly running a long defunct gaming and music review site known as the Short Bus. There was an open call for new staff, as is often the case around here as staffers get lazy as sin after a while, or in some cases do nothing at all. He discovered the site following a link from South/Blaine’s fanfic site, Nightmare Symbiosis, which at the time he hosted. Discovering one of the prominent threads to be a discussion between former staffer Hardcore and WilliamEVADYLERnet discussing the fineries of wiping one’s own butt, he knew he found a home. His favorite fighter is a toss up between Street Fighter Alpha II, Mortal Kombat II, and King of Fighters 98. He still plays the newer fighters such as the Guilty Gear series, Tekken, Virtua Fighter, but has lost the time and dedication needed to really get any good at them. Considered a touch above scrub tier, just enough to review a game and not look like an IGNoramous.
Never masterbated to DOAXBV, and actually enjoys the Volleyball aspect of the game.
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WELCOME TO BONERTOWN Stabberiffic |
Formerly “thedigitalsin”, Bonertown weasled his way onto the staff in 2005 with promises of helping relaunch the site quickly. And we all know how that turned out (it didn’t).
Bonertown was introduced to Higher Voltage in late 2002 after helping out Nightmare Symbiosis writer Blaine create a splash page for the aforementioned fanfic. Browsing the forums for a few weeks, Bonertown decided, against better judgement, to create an account, around the time Fagmort of the Millennium began.
Bonertown’s favorite fighting games are Street Fighter II and Tekken 2, though Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection currently threatens to overtake the latter simply due to how great Lili looks dressed like a goth.
Bonertown purchased an XBOX and an XBOX360 just so he could play DOAXBV and DOAX2 respectively. His current handle should more than explain what his single-player experience with the first game was like, and also gives insight as to how he will approach the second game.
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Gavok The Best One of the Three! |
Gavok’s name was discovered between couch cushions. Which is a good thing because the best internet handle he had since then was Shin Burt Lancaster. He joined the HerV forum back when the millenium was new and rose from the ranks as the member who gave Neil the best back massages. Well, after Andy. Gavok became a staff member shortly before the place collapsed yet again, which is like putting in quarters on a Simpsons arcade machine two seconds before your friends finish off Mr. Burns. What the shit is that about?
Gavok’s favorite fighting game is Street Fighter 3: Third Strike, but he also loves the hell out of Marvel Superheroes, Mortal Kombat 2, King of Fighters ‘98, Tekken 5, and Survival Arts. Granted, he’s never actually played Survival Arts, but he has a good feeling about that old digitized gem. Gavok used to write a comprehensive storyline canon FAQ about the Mortal Kombat series, but it all faded away due to the series’ decline in storyline quality and the rise of Wikipedia. Now he spends his days reading comics and cursing Capcom for not making Marvel vs. Capcom 3 with Urien vs. Namor. It’s like, the battle of the manliest men to ever wear banana hammocks!
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DYLE? Black ObiJay |
Has a fond fascination with eight minute abs, eight minute biceps, and pigs.
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CKA OUT FOR BLOOD |
cka is a character in the animated series King of the Hill. He is an exterminator, chain-smoker, and paranoid believer of almost all conspiracy theories. Due to his beliefs, he uses the alias Rusty Shackleford whenever he doesn’t want his real name known, including when ordering pizza.
He also stockpiled barrels of Mountain Dew in preparation for Y2K and, later, to win XBOX 360(s).
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ROFLTRAVOLTA PHProcrastinator |
Lord of the internet, ROFL spends his time procrastinating, playing World of Warcraft, and telling Neil that things are “almost done” or “99%” complete, and then never actually goes on to show them.
+++Fallen Staffers; Lest We Forget+++
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redranger Together Again. |
Rose from peasantry to become HV GOD for three years, then disappeared in the early planning stages of what was to become this latest site version. Neglected to inform anybody that he was leaving, ignored any and all attempts to contact him and has remained incommunicado since late 2004. The cunt.
HVO is currently offering a 500,000 Zack Dollar bounty for any information pertaining to this hated outlaw.
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Strat Let’s rock, baby! |
Lovable, huggable little Edward Cheson Sy, whose love of fighting games (and CounterStrike, but we don’t talk about that) was equalled only by his inability to put that love into language you could understand.
This once-proud Official Staff Bitch was last seen giving a seminar on artificial muscles at the Phillippines School of Science and Engineering, which let’s face it is a hell of a lot more interesting than what we’ve been doing.
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Rinoa eastside niggitz |
Model, web designer (rapist-class) and all-round internet personality. To this day specialises in tiny websites with stupid unreadable transparent writing.
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