9:16am

Woke up, had breakfast, appeared as a shadowy menacing figure and mocked the advancing fighters. Wha ha ha!

11:25am

Went to the shops. Picked up two bottles of Coke, but forgot to pay for them, As I walked out of the shop, Mrs. Jones at the counter threw a can of tuna at me, but my screwy collision detection routines meant it just passed through me. Phew.

1pm

As I was crossing the road, I failed to notice a truck coming at full speed towards me. Luckily, I flicked my little finger at it as it hit, and my ridiculous hit priority meant the truck took full damage, and I escaped unharmed.

3:34pm

When I got home, there were a gang of muggers waiting in my doorway. They beat me up easily and were about to take my wallet, when I said “that was fun, now I will fight you at full strength!” - changed clothes and proceeded to kill them all in under 6 seconds.

5:20pm

The TV caught fire. Fortunately, thanks to my instant recovery times, I was able get out of the room, and, while still in the escaping pose, I cancelled into my “call the fire brigade” move.

9pm

Had dinner. Was playable in next years’ edition, but had lost all my cheating abilities, and was thrashed by pretty much everyone. Goodnight.