Results: ROUND THREE

Votes: 296

Terry Bogard (Fatal Fury, King of Fighters, Capcom vs. SNK): 183 (62%)
Ken Masters (Streetfighter 2, Streetfighter Alpha, Streetfighter 3, Capcom vs. SNK): 113 (38%)

Winner: Terry Bogard

Win quote: “This was the best match I’ve had in a while. You should be proud! OK!”

Terry’s 1000% true and accurate profile:

• Name: Terry “Doughboy” Bogard
• Age: 24
• 3-size: Hat-Jacket-Jeans
• Likes: Villain’s kids, small monkeys, annoying kids with only one side of their trousers’ intact.
• Dislikes: Flocks of geese, taking awkward showers with his brother.
• First sexual experience: Being a street urchin for a while forces one to come up with ways to make quick cash…
• Preferred training method: Bench-pressing annoying kid sidekicks.
• Use at “High-level”?: Roll, rising tackle. They’ll never see it coming.
• Appearances outside fighting games?: Being the macho lead in the awesome Fatal Fury flicks.

Reasons For Terry to win: He’s the most endearing and likeable fighting game good guy out there. He works hard, he plays hard… and he’s so fucking dreamy when the wind catches his hair.

Votes: 321

Chun Li (Streetfighter 2, Streetfighter Alpha, Streetfighter 3, Capcom vs. SNK): 168 (52%)
Blue Mary (Fatal Fury, King of Fighters): 153 (48%)

Winner: Chun Li

Win quote: “What were you thinking? You can’t show off if you don’t have any skills.”

Chun Li’s 1000% true and accurate profile:

• Name: Chun Li
• Age: YOU ask her.
• 3-size: I-Want-In.
• Likes: Bruce Lee, Wushu, Tai-Chi, justice, kicking, sharp arm-wear.
• Dislikes: Having too many moves, ripped panty-hose, 80’s legwarmers.
• First sexual experience: I offered, but she turned me down.
• Preferred training method: Stairmaster, and toning her thighs to the point where she can kick through wood, iron and adamantium.
• Use at “High-level”?: Spinning Bird Kick. Now and forever.
• Appearances outside fighting games?: Her fight versus Vega in the Streetfighter anime made her a star : her role in the Alpha movie made her look like screen meat >:|

Reasons For Chun Li to win: Because she’s the first and hottest Chinese fighting Lady. Call her “babe” or “chick” and see just how thorough your health insurance is.

Votes: 220

Blanka (Streetfighter 2, Streetfighter Alpha 3, Capcom vs. SNK): 107 (49%)
Q (Streetfighter 3): 113 (51%)

Winner: Q

Win quote: “? …………. (Leave)”

Q’s 1000% true and accurate profile:

• Name: Quentin Q. Quetzlkoatl. Perhaps.
• Age: Warranty expired six weeks ago, so don’t break him!
• 3-size: Eurgh.
• Likes: Handy accomodating electrical sockets, nudity-concealing trenchcoats, the smell of fear/engine oil
• Dislikes: Being seen, talking, mixing with others. We think it’s Neil under that mask…
• First sexual experience: Jump-starting a vacuum cleaner, aged 11.
• Preferred training method: Mumbling to self in subway stations
• Use at “High-level”?: Only.
• Appearances outside fighting games?: Not specifically, although his design is extremely similar to the TEKKAMEN robots that show up in Yokoyama Mitsuteru’s Babil Nisei manga.

Reasons For Q to win: He’s just the anti-bishounen, anti-rich-playboy, anti-hero, anti-”the fight is all”, anti-everything head stomping mystery wildcard weirdo with some amazing moves and Darth Vader-style asthma.

Votes: 217

Dudley (Streetfighter 3): 131 (60%)
Yashiro Nanakase (King of Fighters 97, 98, 2002): 86 (40%)

Winner: Dudley

Win quote: “Your moves are deceptive at times, but it did nothing to affect my poise in battle! ”

Dudley’s 1000% true and accurate profile:

• Name: Dudley. Just, Dudley.
• Age: Pushing the top end of his thirties, gracefully.
• 3-size: Get lost, lad!
• Likes: Fine moustache combs, suspenders, tossing roses, Alfred the butler. He also collects classic cars and tends to leave
  the keys in the igntion when he’s parked near FINAL BOSS STAGE.
• Dislikes: Gutter trash. Uncouth louts, Americans (probably)
• First sexual experience: The same as all public schoolboys: the digestive biscuit game.
• Preferred training method: Tea and target chains with the vicar and the duchess
• Use at “High-level”?: .
• Appearances outside fighting games?: Cardfighters’ Clash only.

Reasons For Dudley to win: He’s not only one of Capcom’s greatest character designs, he’s ENGLISH for god’s sakes. He also has a nice shirt on.

Votes: 261

M.Bison (Streetfighter 2): 122 (47%)
Yamazaki (Streetfighter Alpha): 139 (53%)

Winner: Yamazaki

Win quote: “I’ll skin you and feed you to the sharks!”

Yamazaki’s 1000% true and accurate profile:

• Name: Ryuji Yamazaki. Don’t you just love the name “Ryuji”. God.
• Age: Way too scary to approach.
• 3-size: Same here.
• Likes: Whipping, slashing, biting, clawing and sticking his tongue out
• Dislikes: Most things.
• First sexual experience: *cries*
• Preferred training method: Splitting train carriages with his gargantuan penis
• Use at “High-level”?: QCB+A/B/C. Repeat.
• Appearances outside fighting games?: Sadly nothing more than CFC. Wouldn’t a Yamazaki TV show or detective series be amazing?

Reasons For Yamazaki to win: He’s such a well-designed psycho. He doesn’t wear jackboots or have panthers following him about; he’s just fucking crazy and really, really dangerous. Also, you could dress up as him and go out without getting beaten to a pulp.

Votes: 233

Iori Yagami (King of Fighters, Capcom vs. SNK): 152 (65%)
Rugal Bernstein (King of Fighters, Capcom vs. SNK): 81 (35%)

Winner: Iori Yagami

Win quote: “You can touch me… but it’ll cost your life.”

Iori’s 1000% true and accurate profile:

• Name: Iori “Imagay” Yagami. Yes, LOL indeed.
• Age: Has one.
• 3-size: Our trembling hand were burnt when we tried to touch his heaving torso.
• Likes: Threesomes with (the late) Vice and Mature, furry collars, Kyo (well, come on!), sunflowers and hopping Back+Bs.
• Dislikes: I think he’s pretty jealous of Shingo, what with the towelling-downs and all.
• First sexual experience: Molested by Orochi in the playground. Big mistake.
• Preferred training method: Singing godawful songs and feeding kittens.
• Use at “High-level”?: Cross-ups galore.
• Appearances outside fighting games?: Sadly, no.

Reasons For Iori to win: Because he’s just great, handsome and powerful and he sings like the Elephant Man.

Votes: 277

Ryu (Streetfighter (all)): 159 (57%)
Kyo Kusanagi (King of Fighters): 118 (43%)

Winner: Ryu

Win quote: “I look forward to our next battle”

Ryu’s 1000% true and accurate profile:

• Name: Ryu Hoshi. Didn’t you hear that Capcom Japan recently announced the Stephen DeSouza movie was canon?
• Age: Thirty-nine. It’s the big four-oh this year for our little Ryu
• 3-size: Bustay!
• Likes: Ken’s stained headband, long groves of trees.
• Dislikes: Training, the fight, experience and potential. Ha, April Fool!
• First sexual experience: Once he tied his belt too tight when wrestling with Ken.
• Preferred training method: Shoryukenning waterfalls
• Use at “High-level”?: Fireball trap
• Appearances outside fighting games?: Both SF anime, the live action movie (oh yes!) - unofficial appearances in Jackie Chan’s CITY HUNTER and about fifty million rip-offs and parodies. Oh, and that Psykio-Capcom Japanese board-game thing…

Reasons For Ryu to win: Well he did kind of start the entire thing. And he’s hunky, in a distant, gravelly sort of way.

Votes: 322

Haohmaru (Samurai Shodown): 177 (55%)
Strider Hiryu (Marvel vs. Capcom): 145 (45%)

Winner: Haohmaru

Win quote: “Swordplay isn’t dancing, pal!”

Haohmaru’s 1000% true and accurate profile:

• Name: Haohmaru. How? Maru!
• Age: He’s about 400 years old by the time he appears in CvS2.
• 3-size: All that bamboo slashing means he has some powerful hips.
• Likes: Saké and … slashing things. And looking up Nakoruru’s dress.
• Dislikes: Proper sentences
• First sexual experience: He was polishing his sword (hohoho) and it went off.
• Preferred training method: Hacking at miscreants and ne’erdowells.
• Use at “High-level”?: Standing fierce.
• Appearances outside fighting games?: Has appeared in both SAMSHO anime, the manga, the elusive Samurai Shodown RPG and he’s based on a real person or something.

Reasons For Haohmaru to win: It’s all about the way he says “yosh!”

Votes: 259

Shermie (King of Fighters): 130 (50.19%)
Vice (King of Fighters): 129 (49.8%)

Winner: Shermie

Win quote: “All things considered, I am the critics’ choice!”

Shermie’s 1000% true and accurate profile:

• Name: Shelumie.
• Age: Older than a lolita, younger than a French prostitute.
• 3-size: All I know is that I’d sit confortably in that rack.
• Likes: Yashiro, pink, bangs.
• Dislikes: Being able to see.
• First sexual experience: ROUGH SEX
• Preferred training method: Crushing melons between her thighs, and picking the wet seeds off the floor. Its harder than you think.
• Use at “High-level”?: What do we look like? GameFAQs?
• Appearances outside fighting games?: Hentai. Big surprise, huh?

Reasons For Shermie to win: You obviously did not read the memo.

Next week: We dump FOTM favorite Geese Howard in exchange for the entire cast of World Heroes. Seriously!

• enclosure: http://www.highervoltage.net/misc/fireball_trap.mpeg 6138340 video/mpeg

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