Results: ROUND THREE

Votes: 291

Athena Asamiya (King of Fighters, Capcom vs. SNK): 149 (51%)
Sakura Kasugano (Streetfighter Alpha, Capcom vs. SNK): 142 (49%)

Winner: Athena

Win quote: “I just love it when these battles go full contact”

Athena’s 1000% true and accurate profile:

• Name: Athena Xena Marina Asamiya
• Age: 1,400. She was fighting 4-colour snakemen in ancient Greece you know.
• 3-size: Heroic-Cute-Annoying
• Likes: Kaoru, teaming with groups of sexual deviants, buck cake, setting elaborate traps to cripple Tae Kwon Do masters
• Dislikes: Costume continuity, large groups of shadowy men, Yuri Sakazaki’s Travelling Dickgirl Circus
• First sexual experience: Sie Kensou, in the after-concert party, with the candlestick
• Preferred training method: Polishing her metal bikini whilst exploding horny teenagers with her mind.
• Use at “High-level”?: Abusing her Shining Crystal Bit in S-Groove for hilarious zoning action in CvS2.
• Appearances outside fighting games?: Hentai, Cardfighters’ Clash, Athena, Athena: Awakening from the ordinary life

Reasons For Athena to win: She’s a HerV icon (or rather a dowdy, weeping cosplaying porn star version of her is) - she has an incredibly irritating voice and she fucked Bao. Although that said, who here honestly hasn’t?

Votes: 301

Ayane (Dead or Alive): 124 (42%)
Ibuki (Streetfighter 3): 177 (58%)

Winner: Ibuki

Win quote: “I don’t think you can understand what Shinobi moves are all about”

Ibuki’s 1000% true and accurate profile:

• Name: Ibukins. Ickle Fluffy Ibukins.
• Age: I don’t think ninjas age at the same speed as the rest of us. Or was that Mexicans?
• 3-size: Numbers just don’t do those lines justice.
• Likes: Those little knives with the ring at the end, bound and gagged Racoons, inflatable pants, impotent pansy boyfriends
• Dislikes: Gameplay balance, hentai
• First sexual experience: S. Jab, S. Strong, S. Fierce, C. touching herself
• Preferred training method: Seeing as she does 1000% less damage that everybody else in the game, Ibuki obviously trains by karate-chopping single-ply tissue paper and lifting feathers
• Use at “High-level”?: Realizing you’re working three times as hard as everyone else for the same amount of damage, then switching to Ken :x
• Appearances outside fighting games?: Cardfighters Clash, incredibly rare cartoon porn

Reasons For Ibuki to win: She’s one of the greatest fighting game characters of all time. And if you look, you can just about see down her shirt…

Votes: 277

Leona Heidern (King of Fighters): 126 (45%)
Dizzy (Guilty Gear X): 151 (55%)

Winner: Dizzy

Win quote: “You could have really hurt me… Thank you’”

Dizzy’s 1000% true and accurate profile:

• Name: Disraeli
• Age: 3 (in gear/pervert years)
• 3-size: It’s actually 5-size, because of the wings and tail and stuff
• Likes: Underage pirate girls. Huge explosions of (high resolution) light.
• Dislikes: Warm, comfortable clothes, Hellabunna artists.
• First sexual experience: It’s all about the tail, man.
• Preferred training method: When she’s not cooking dinner for the savage, brutal, constantly-horny Mayship crew, Dizzy plays pocket billiards with galaxies
• Use at “High-level”?: Giant fucking laser beams.
• Appearances outside fighting games?: Hentai, hentai, more hentai

Reasons For Dizzy to win: She was SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED for deviant artists to draw rude pictures of. The sheer consideration of the designers makes us weep (from our penises)

Votes: 224

Kim Kaphwan (Fatal Fury, King of Fighters, Capcom vs. SNK): 175 (78%)
Takuma Sakazaki (Art of Fighting, King of Fighters): 49 (22%)

Winner: Kim Kaphwan

Win quote: “You need to find the true meaning of battle. Pain”

Kim’s 1000% true and accurate profile:

• Name: Kimberly “Kap” Hwan.
• Age: Pushing sixty, quite obviously
• 3-size: Toothy glare prohibited accurate measurement
• Likes: Fat men with metal balls, little men with steel claws, May Lee’s fine fine ass. Oh, and Justice (not him)
• Dislikes: Proper clothes, decent haircuts, heterosexuality. God, Jay’s going to kill me for this.
• First sexual experience: No comment. Although Jae and Dong had to have been made somehow.
• Preferred training method: Beating up evildoers and constant, frantic masturbation
• Use at “High-level”?: Jobber.
• Appearances outside fighting games?: Cardfighters’ Clash, the Fatal Fury animated movie. The second Fatal Fury OAV.

Reasons For Kim to win: He’s incredibly popular for some strange reason, he kicks a wholesome amount of ass while remaining markedly non-bishounen and non-angsty. He’s a good, clean, simple candidate.

Votes: 266

Sagat (Streetfighter 2): 124 (46%)
Dan Hibiki (Streetfighter Alpha): 142 (54%)

Winner: Dan Hibiki

Win quote: “Now, you know who’s really got the skills!”

Dan’s 1000% true and accurate profile:

• Name: Daniel Johann Hibiki
• Age: Timeless
• 3-size: Awesome-Awesome-Awesome
• Likes: Pink, taunting, rolling, idiocy
• Dislikes: sombre colour schemes, long range attacks, Sagat
• First sexual experience: Still waiting on this one
• Preferred training method: Training? What are you, Mr. Miyagi or something?
• Use at “High-level”?: Obviously, yes.
• Appearances outside fighting games?: Puzzle Fighter, Cardfighters’ Clash, the Streetfighter Alpha anime.

Reasons For Dan to win: Everyone loves a steaming great clusterfuck of an imbecile, especially one so utterly convinced of his own self-worth. It’s going to take an incredibly great, or incredibly awful character to beat Dan.

Votes: 249

Geese Howard (Fatal Fury, King of Fighters, Capcom vs. SNK): 205 (82%)
Wolfgang Krauser (Fatal Fury 2): 44 (18%)

Winner: Geese Howard

Win quote: “So how’s it feel to be ruled by overwhelming power? ”

Geese’s 1000% true and accurate profile:

• Name: Geese Howard (we tried to make up a funnier name for him, but just couldn’t top SNK’s own efforts)
• Age: Yes.
• 3-size: Do you want to try and measure this man’s breasts?
• Likes: Base-jumping
• Dislikes: The weak. The stupid. The poor. The ignorant. You.
• First sexual experience: Geese had a harem of ‘hos fulfilling his most depraved and degrading sexual whims when he was twelve. I was one of them. ;_;
• Preferred training method: Exploding the world, plus the legendary, secret “wet towel” sauna routine.
• Use at “High-level”?: Has a lot of counters and high priority nonsense, but is somewhat slow and limited.
• Appearances outside fighting games?: the first Fatal Fury OVA, and a cameo in the second.

Reasons For Geese to win: Because he said he’d go and do a MAX Raging Storm in a nursery if he didn’t

Votes: 299

Vanessa (King of Fighters): 174 (58%)
Mai Shiranui (Fatal Fury, King of Fighters): 125 (42%)

Winner: Vanessa

Win quote: “Oooh yeah! I’m gonna drink to my success!”

Vanessa’s 1000% true and accurate profile:

• Name: Vanessa Feltz
• Age: Young enough to be pert and smooth, but just old enough to appear in MILF HUNTER spam
• 3-size: The notepad we wrote it down on got a little … stained
• Likes: Punching things, ties, suspenders, her Rick Strowd vibrator
• Dislikes: Ramon, Ramen, the Ramones
• First sexual experience: I couldn’t even begin to visualise this without exploding
• Preferred training method: Tony Little’s Gazelle Freestyle®
• Use at “High-level”?: KOF games don’t have “high level”
• Appearances outside fighting games?: We wish. Oh, Yuri and Friends 2000

Reasons For Vanessa to win: Good lord man, look at her.

Next week: protracted voting for fighting game characters!

• enclosure: http://www.highervoltage.net/misc/fireball_trap.mpeg 6138340 video/mpeg

Pages: 1 2