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Higher Voltage Character Battle: Fagmort of the Millennium |
Higher Voltage Character Battle: Fagmort of the Millennium
So it’s come to this: ripping off GameFAQs.
Like us, you were probably furious when such videogame icons and day-to-day life role models as Terry Bogard and Iori Yagami lost out so early in the GameFAQs character battle of a few months back.
There were appalling crimes of good taste all throughout the event, but general consensus at HerV Towers was that once again poor malnourished fighting games got the shaft, partly because some genius put a Squaresoft pokes kekeke ^_^ fangirl favourite in each bracket, but also because people are stupid, and in many cases don’t even like fighters!So what can we do? Well, the most obvious answer is “copy them”, but this time DO IT RIGHT.
So in time-honoured argument-inducing tradition we’re proud (?) to introduce Higher Voltage’s very own Great GameFAQs Character Battle.
The Contest
After a long, complex and highly scientific selection process, we managed to select 128 of the greatest, hottest and most ridiculous fighting game characters of all time.
Every day there will appear on the front page two characters from the annals (annal lol) of fighting game history - well-known and … well, not so well-known, along with their name and a short description.
The objective? To find out who THE FANS (that’s you, dummy) love, hate and are just plain ambivalent about.
Every day, a new pair will be posted up and you fine folks will have 24 hours to vote. Once all the primary pairs are completed, we’ll re-pair the winners and repeat the process, and then again, and again and again and again until we have a winner. Then we’ll cry at all the time we’ve wasted and agree that CJayC did it much better anyway.
Rules and Guidelines
- Remember this is a poll on which character you like best, not who has the most dominating crouching fierce.
- Yes, we know this is just the sort of lazy, populist fanboy pandering we’ve always made fun of in the past. We love it really.
- Voting for female characters with no positive characteristics whatsoever except excessively large breasts is not only allowed, but encouraged.
- Voting for pretty bishounen male characters with long eyelashes, spiky chins and noses and bright blue hair is similarly encouraged … though we admit we’ll be kind of disturbed if anyone actually does it.
- The results of this poll are the REAL FINAL ACTUAL TRUTH that you can use as undeniable proof of whom could beat whom on videogame message boards.
- Likewise the results of said poll will also prove once and for all which company is better.
- Voting for joke characters is hilarious and actually gets funnier every single time you do it.
- Remember, with 128 characters to get though, getting down to a final result will take some time, but please don’t get disheartened. We have put a lot of thought and effort into this, and I’ll cry if it has to be abandoned halfway through.
- Likewise apologies if your favourite character didn’t make it in. We harvested a huge list, and tried our best to pare it down to something acceptable without losing too many good characters. We didn’t want to miss out too many, but at the same time we didn’t want it to run for a year and a half.
- If you correctly predict the overall winner, you and a friend will win a weekend at the fabulous ‘Bukkake Beach’ Bar and Grill Hotel (availability pending whether we can get Jay’s credit card number in time)
HHOT FORUM ACTION
As a companion to this thrilling race to pole position of popularity - we’ve created some official threads in the News From The Front forum. Feel free to post your chosen winners, to argue about who’s winning, to call the other character rude names - whatever.
If this thing is popular enough (please don’t let the neighbour’s cat have been sacrificed in vain) and the thread explodes, we may consider a seperate forum. However who knows what this thing will end up as. Which leads us neatly onto…
Laziness/Incompetence cavéat
We’ve never done something like this before. And when we do things like this, they often go wrong - so have a little patience. Thanks.
- The Higher Voltage staff, and Skippy
