Kinnikuman is a term that might be sort of familiar to some of you, and should be VERY familiar to the rest of you. At one time or another, all of you have had one of these in your posession.

These little rubber werstlers should bring all of us back to the days of playing in sandboxes, getting in fights and biting little girls on the butts. For some of us (read: me), this was just last week, but for others, these toys represent a truly golden, bright time in our lives. These little things went through a period where they were damned near impossible to find at one point, but if you really wanted them, they were usually discovered lodged inbetween the fat-folds of your friendly neighborhood otaku (check your backfat if you are even reading this, because you ARE suspect).
Now, however, Kinnikuman is back in a BIG way. Now known as Ultimate Muscle: The Kinnikuman Legacy, the revival of this nearly 30 year old cult phenomenon hit the US hard in 2002. First, premiering with a Saturday-Morning Cartoon that has captivated both children and adults with their homage to our childhood, good animation, and liberal inclusion of fart jokes. Then, the simultaneous release of a GBA Ultimate Muscle wrestling game and a Gamecube BOMBSHELL that no one expected.

But wait! Before I go any further, I have to include a statement for those with short attention spans. You NEED to buy this game. LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT ME GOD DAMNIT! This is the BEST wrestling game ever created. There are no superiors. Nothing that has come out before this game was released or since then has come even close to matching it in ANY criteria. Not only is this the best wrestling game I’ve ever played, but it is also one of the top five GC games ever created. Rank it where you will, but it will always end up somewhere in the top five. If I don’t sell you this game by the time this review is over, I feel that my mission is failed. I have never said that about ANY game EVER and you KNOW I hate wrestling with a passion.

This game’s presentation is nearly flawless. You could consider it to be like a Wrestlemania game on mushrooms. The idea behind this game was simple; take the best wrestlers from the original series and have them duke it out with the best wrestlers from the new series (hence Legends vs New Generation), give it the longest title you can, PLEASE THE FANS. That’s what their formula was. Like I said, simple.

There are several ‘modes’ in this game to choose from. You have your story mode, tournament, versus, create-a-wrestler, toy mode and several other play styles to choose from. Aside from Story Mode, each play mode has several sub-modes, quantifying your available options exponentially (check out my vocabulary gusy!).

Story Mode starts you out with 7 initial characters from the New Generation. Completing Story Mode with a character unlocks that character’s legendary equivalent. In some cases, this will be the character’s father, in some cases mentors, and in other cases, the relationship will be very superficial. In addition to this, there are another 6 characters available to choose from in story mode that are unlocked through different methods. Through story mode’s hilariously executed dialogue and its epic battles, you learn whether your character is a heel, a face, or an anti-hero. Needless to say, there will be someone for everyone by the end.

Versus Mode in this game is pretty standard for wrestling games. There are several different kinds, royal rumbles, tag matches, 2 on 2 simultaneous matches and so on. In this mode, there are even MORE unlockable characters, but they are more “sub-characters” than anything else. Several character designs were submitted by fans of the show in japan, for inclusion in this game. Ten were chosen, 9 of which are available at the start, and one has to be unlocked. They have no stories and they are composite characters in terms of moves, but their designs are all winners.

This leads me to Create-a-Wrestler Mode. From this game, you can use any of the 10 designs in the game and combine them in any way that you’d like in order to personalize your own ultimate wrestler. From there, you can choose your moves, personality, affiliation, name and storyline. It is your usual stuff and there are only 10 characters to chose from and about 5 body parts to edit, which pretty much leads to a very limited number of combinations, but it is still a mandatory addition in any wrestling game.

Toy Mode is very simple and at first doesn’t seem very interesting, but to unlock other secrets in the game, it is mandatory that you play this portion of the game. It is simple and non-threatening and it doesn’t feel like a chore. All you have to do is earn money by beating the story mode and other modes, then plop your money into the toy capsule machines and try to get as many individual toys as possible. Obviously, the more toys that you earn, the more the odds of you gaining a toy that you haven’t earned decrease. There are 434 possible action figures, directly from your childhood, many depicting famous wrestling moves, but you only need about 300 to unlock all of the important secrets, and that, luckily, isn’t very hard to do. By the time you have beaten Story Mode with everyone, you should have more than enough coins to get all of the action figures. I will elaborate on the secrets later on in this essay.

The characters are 40% of the game’s appeal right here. This game has the most original and charismatic characters that have ever appeared in ANY wrestling game. EVER. If you think about the comedic origins of this series, it is no surprise though. I won’t outline all of the characters, but I will mention the most memorable, and save a few surprises for you to discover on your own.

Let us start with a few from the new Generation. Kid Muscle, AKA Kinniku Mantaro is the main protagonist of the New Generation. Basically, he is the heir to the power of Ultimate Muscle, which is a Chojin (Super Hero) power that allows you to tap into an unheard of amount of force. Kid Muscle’s character design is BRILLIANT. He is a spandex suit wearing muscleman whose face looks like a pink eraser/fish hybrid, with giant lips and a patch of pubic hair sticking directly out of the center of his head. He is your typical hero character, just above average in all statistics and can hold his own against every wrestler in the game.

Next up, we have the best character EVER, DIK DIK VAN DIK. He was known as Antlerman in the Japan version of the series, but I guess that was too risque. Dik Dik is a GOD. He looks like deer obviously, but he is an arrogant bastard who does nothing but harp on and on about his greatness. He is a powerful character without very much stamina. If you are wondering why I have yet to take the low road on this one, it is simple. The game and the TV series make sure to take EVERY OPPORTUNITY that they can to remind you that he posesses three Diks.

The last new generation character that I will mention is Terry Kenyon. Terry Kenyon is the son of Legendary Wrestler Terryman (who is also in the game), and his greatest asset is speed. Terry is a loud, mullet-wearing cowboy with balls the size of hay-bails. The thing that makes Terry worth mentioning is the fact that he has SO MUCH personality. Both Terry Kenyon and Terryman are very similar in fighting styles, but Terry Kenyon would make any Nascar dad proud.

The true gems in this game come in the form of Legends. All of the characters are awesome, but the Legends are just special gems. Topping the list, only because he is the main protagonist of the Legends is Kinnikuman himself, King Muscle. King Muscle’s origin is actually pretty cool. He is based on Ultraman. This manga series was started by two High School kids whose interests were Ultraman, Fish and Wrestling. Thus, Kinnikuman was born. King Muscle’s moves are all a sight to behold, he shares the Kinniku Buster with Kid Muscle, but that’s where the similarities stop. King Muscle might be the best normal character in the game because he’s so far above average in all stats. Even though he has the same face as Kid Muscle, there is something really noble and cool about him. Maybe it’s the fact that he doesn’t have a patch of pubes sticking out of his head.

The coolest Legend is Sunshine. Sunshine is a series of indestructible Stone cubes with a ton of personality and an endless reservoir of crafty schemes to hatch and witty statements to make. Sunshine is one of the few characters in this series who has remained a heel throughout his entire career. He is great for two reasons. One: He is able to change into any shape that he wants. Two: When other characters grab him, the ugly *REACH THROUGH 3 CHARACTERS’ BODIES* thing that plagues ALL 3D fighting games happens. I laugh everytime I see him get powerbombed. “WHAT?!?!? HIS HEAD IS INSIDE OF HIS OPPONENT’S CROTCH!!!! :OOO” As arousing as that might normally be, in a wrestling ring, it’s just funny.

The last legend that I’ll take up your time with is the finest of them all… BROCKEN JR. Do you guys remember Brocken from World Heroes? This is the guy that he was based on, exact same design and everything. Brocken Jr. had a father named Brocken in the original 1970s/80s series too, long before World Heroes, so don’t be confused by the Jr. Brocken Jr., aside from having already made an appearance in SEVERAL terrible Data East games, also has hilarious and controversial Nazi origins.

In France, Anime is very unpopular and many people shun it completely. Kinnikuman, and more importantly Brocken Jr. are the reasons for this. In the original series, which aired in France as well, Brocken Jr., a Nazi, went from being a Heel to a Super Hero character and a savior of the world. France took great offense to the idea of a Nazi reforming and becoming a hero and banned the series completely. Ever since then, Anime has not been well received in France. I wish I could say that I was making this up, but I’ve done my research. It wasn’t an ideal of intentionally humor from the creators of the series either. Despite Japan being secret Nazi supporters and secretly wanting to be blonde, blue-eyed white people, the storyline pattern of Kinnikuman is very similar to DBZ. Most bad guys get their minds changed by King Muscle and become Super Heroes.

The other characters in the game worth mentioning are Ramenman, a chinese stereotype who looks like a Ramen noodle. Buffalo Man is a gigantic wrestler with over 10,000,000 power and a jerry curl. Kevin mask (new generation) and Robin Mask (legend) and of course, Checkmate, the famous Chess-piece based supervillian of the new generation. All of these characters and the rest of the characters in the game are worthy of having entire paragraphs dedicated to them, but that is exactly the reason why I don’t. This is a first. EVERY CHARACTER IN THIS GAME IS VERY WELL-CRAFTED AND UNIQUE!

The gameplay comprises about 50% of the immense enjoyment that is to be had from this game. This is the most fast paced wrestling game ever made. The controls was made specifically for the Gamecube controller and it is tight and responsive. It feels second nature after about 3 or four minutes of playing the game. This game wins the prize because they made the game as simplistic as it can be, but you can do more in this game than you can in any other game.

The system is comprised of 4 levels of attack. Level 0, Level 1, Level 2, and Level 3. Level 0 attacks are comprised of your basic punches and kick combos. All attacks are done with one button and it depends on both the direction you hold and whether you tap or hold the attack button. Level 0 grapples allow characters to unleash a series of several different holds, depending on whether you tap or press down the grapple button and what direction that you are pressing, your proximity to your opponent, and whether you are in the front or the back. That all sounds pretty basic and cool, but there are other things. New things. This game has jumping attacks and air grapples. This increases the pace of the game SO MUCH that it’s incredible. This addition alone makes the game *more* fun than any other game. There are different types of air grapples and attacks depending on… well you get the idea.

Level 1 supers are special physical attacks that your character has. Depending on the character, they can be unleashed on both ground and in the air. Some of these moves come in the form of Geese Howard counters, some are dashing attacks, some are fireballs, teleportation, and the list goes on and on. Using these attacks consumes one level of your super bar.

Level 2 attacks are grapples that consume 2 bars and can be performed from the front, behind, and for some characters in the air. It is really fulfilling stuff. These attacks are powerful signature moves and are unique to each character.

Level 3 attacks are your finishing moves and tag attacks. These attacks are all a sight to behold. The tag attacks like Muscle Docking and M & K connection have to be seen to be believed. When you perform level 3 grapples, there is a stop in the action and it moves immediately to a real time cutscene of your character OWNING his opponent. You can interrupt these scenes at any time if you want to keep the pace of the match. Everyone only has one finishing move, but they are all extremely impressive to see. You can look at each character’s move maybe 10 times before you start wanting to cut past them.

You can also throw your opponent to the ropes and attack them from there with some new moves. Throwing them to the ropes, while a standard, is a little different in this game. The force with which you throw them sends opponents flying out of control into the ropes 3 or 4 times if they don’t use escape measures.

A new addition to wrestling games is the ability to throw your opponent up in the air about 20 feet. After that, you can pursue them like in VS games and follow up with an air attack and start an air juggle which can lead into a series of ground attacks and/or a throw, or you can pursue them with up to 3 different types of air throws. A medium air throw, a high air throw and a level 2 air throw for some characters.

Other than that, there are strikers in this game that help you out of jams and throw out various power-ups throughout your match, both in tag and single matches. Strikers are called “Seconds” in this game. The gameplay is so deep that I can’t even remember everything involved as I find something new every day. Power-ups range from increases in strength and speed, to power-downs like slow and paralysis. Good stuff.

The sound in this game is fantastic. All of the voice acting is well done, unfortunately, you have to prompt it to move along in the short cutscenes. The dialogue is quirky and funny, just like the show and all of the voices are faithful.

The music in this game is quality too. For a wrestling game. Some of the tracks are goofy when appropriate, while others range from your average wrestling fare to very unique, epic sounding tracks. The last stage’s music in particular is very memorable and really engages you in the match. There really isn’t much more to say about the music than that. All of the filler consists of monotonous videogame music and a couple of porno tracks thrown in for good measure.

The game’s graphics are cel-shaded and the game looks brilliant. You only have one vantage point in the wrestling ring for ultimate old school flavor, but the camera changes and pans a lot during special moves. I like the way that the camera was done because it just keeps things very simple.

The backgrounds, while all colorful and vibrant aren’t as alive as they could have been, but you don’t notice this and you can’t strike it against the game at all. The only reason I’m mentioning it is because it falls in line with my nitpicky, ambiguously gay, Prince Charles-like, demeanor.

This game is packed with extras. 434 unique toys, a hidden create-a-wrestler pallete and 6 legitimate super-hidden characters from the TV show that are usable in all modes. These characters include a ninja aptly named ‘The Ninja,’ a dark Shinobi, a super-powered evil wrestler named Scar Face and three others who I won’t mention, just to keep you guessing when you get this game.

It takes time to learn the subtle nuances, but the extras were emplemented in a way that you can unlock them LONG before you’re done with the game, and I promise that you’ll be sitting with it for a long time.

In closing, this is THE BEST wrestling game ever made. It has tons of stuff to keep you occupied for a long time, you can have up to four of your friends play with you simultaneously and even the worst character in this game is better than the best WWE superstar right now. Not only that, but the game’s ESRB rating is “T,” and the reason behind it is: ‘Comic Mischief and Mild Violence.’ This is the only game on the planet to be rated based on ‘Comic Mischief.’

Playing this game, it is clear that it was tailor made for gamers with a HerVesque sense of humor and for anyone who is interested in a technical wrestling game. Not only is it the most fun wrestling game since Saturday Night Slam Masters, it is also the most technically advanced wrestling game for a next generation system to date.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? YOU SHOULD OWN THIS ALREADY! IT’S ONLY 30 DOLLARS NEW AND LIKE 25 USED! Sell back Wrestlemania XIX and you can practically get this game for free!

• Developer: AKI Corp
• Publisher: Bandai
• Score: 98%